Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Top Ten Reasons You Need to Write Stories

By Lee Pound
 

With apologies to David Letterman, who is a hell of a lot funnier than I am (most of the time), here’s my top ten reasons you need to be writing stories. 

10. So you can make a million dollars writing novels. (Ha Ha. Gotcha on that one)

9. What the heck. Nobody knows if fiction is true or not anyway.

8. Grampa was full of stories. Is your life so dull you can’t think of any to tell? Go ahead, make them up like he did.

7. Someone might actually recognize themselves in one of your stories and sue you. Hey, lawyers need business these days.

6. Your stories are so bad everyone laughs at them whether they are funny or not. Tell them anyway, laughter’s good for everyone’s health.

5. So you can make a million bucks on David Letterman’s show. (You say a thousand, maybe a hundred, maybe nothing? Whatever, it’s publicity and we all need publicity.)

4. So you can make people cry. I made people cry with a story and they bought thousands of dollars worth from me. (I’m not saying of what. Figure that out for yourselves.)

3. Everybody else tells them about you when you’re not listening. It’s payback time!

2. You’re just itching to tell the world what momma and poppa did to you 50 years ago that made you such a horrible, unsuccessful, depressed, amoral person. (As if the world cares) (By the way, it might. Some of those sell really well.)

1. You might as well learn how to tell stories. Lots of resumes floating around out there are fiction anyway.

 

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